Let's Pretend
by L4U74
Summary: Set During Series 4. When Danny's parents turn up at Leopard's Den determined to help him find a new wife, he has no option but to pretend he already is married...to Alice. Rated T for the odd use of language.
1. Chapter One

**Had this idea after watching an old episode of 'Not Going Out' (which I love BTW) and I thought I'd change the story a little bit and make it apply to Danny/Alice. The only thing is, it only can only work properly if they aren't together, so even though I promised myself I wouldn't do anymore Pre-Series 5 fanfics...I had to make an exception for this one. This took me about a week of writing random bits when I could be bothered, so as per usual was not planned...I'm pretty surprised at the ending. I was gonna leave it open for interpretation...but I thought...WFT...let's go for it. Anyway, I'm rambling, so I'll just let you read the friggin' story! The quote below is from 'Let's Pretend' by Plain White T's...which is quite a coincidence as that's what the story's called...it's a good find on my part. I just typed 'Let's Pretend Lyrics' on Google and...BOOYA! Right...on with the story...ENJOY :D**

Set during Series 4

Chapter One

"_I can't take anymore of the make believe romance, it's killing my make believe heart, but I'd rather pretend we're together than know we're apart"_

"Please tell me you're joking" Alice hissed, standing in the darkness

"No! I'm serious!" Danny whispered back, awkwardly stood between an eroded and dirty brick wall and Alice, who was standing a little too close for comfort, thanks the huge pile of boxes Dup had lazily dumped in the cupboard. He could feel her chest raising and falling against his and her hot breath on his face. She was stood nervously inspecting the dusty walls as her eyes adjusted to the light, jumping every time she thought she had spotted a spider.

"Danny..." She frowned, jumping again, "Why are we standing in this bloody cupboard?"

"So they don't hear us!" Danny explained

"I think they'll be more concerned when they see us get out of here" She sighed, "It won't look good.

I doubt they'll think we've just popped in here for a chat..."

"Well, we HAVE!" He shrugged

"Then why are we whispering?" She asked

"Alice! Please!" Danny begged, "Do this...for me..."

"They're gonna realise we're lying!" She protested, "No photo's...no ring..."

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there!" Danny replied "Pleeaasseeee"

"...It's never gonna work..." Alice told him, "But...I'll do it..."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" He grinned, almost jumping up and down

"...If this all goes wrong, don't blame me!" Alice warned

"THANK YOU!" He repeated, planting a kiss on her cheek and hugging her tightly.

They stood there awkwardly for a few moments, before suddenly realising they desperately needed cool air. The pair stumbled out of the cupboard, looking rather flustered, and were met by several pairs of eyes.

"What the...?" Dup began, but stopped as soon as he saw both Danny and Alice shoot him a threatening glance

"We were just...uh...having a chat" Danny mumbled, shuffling away

"Chat?" Dup snorted, "Is THAT what they call it now?"

"I told you" Alice gloated quietly, hitting Danny lightly on the back, following him as they weaved around the crowd of people, and dropped onto the living room sofas.

"What's going on Daniel?" Danny's mother asked, as he shot Alice an apologetic smile

"...It's Danny..." He sighed

"Whatever..." She shrugged, sitting down on the other sofa, closely followed by Danny's father, and a very attractive blonde woman.

Alice had no idea what she had gotten herself into. Danny's family were convinced that he needed a new girlfriend...and it just so happened that they had managed to find the most idiotic and fake women they could. They were trying to get Danny to MARRY her! Alice winced slightly. Pushy parents really got on her nerves. Anyone could see that Danny was NOT interested. And that wasn't just Alice's jealously talking. Not that she was...jealous. Either way, it meant now Alice was faced with an impossible task...

"This is Alice..." Danny said, waving a hand in her direction "...my wife..."

Yes. She had to pretend that she was married to him! As if pretending she didn't want to be with him was bad enough...

Dup suddenly started chocking on air. He knew the pair was up to something...and by the looks of things...this was something he knew that didn't require his input. Especially as he knew things were awkward enough for Alice as it was. To be honest, he knew he could have a lot of fun just watching them try to pull this off, without getting involved.

"Where's the ring?" Judith, his mother frowned

Alice coughed innocently, looking towards Danny

"A lion ate it..." He lied, averting his eyes from his mothers stare

"I know you're lying. You never look at me when you lie" Judith declared, "Tell me the truth"

"Ok, ok!" Danny sighed, "I know that...ummm...sorry, what was your name?"

"Layla" The blonde women replied

"Right" Danny nodded, "I know that _Layla_ is probably a really nice girl and everything...but..."

"The truth is..." Alice interrupted, watching Danny struggle, "We're not married. We're engaged...only, we can't afford a ring yet and Danny's a bit embarrassed"

Everyone turned to look at Alice with blank faces. None more so than Danny himself.

"You look confused, son" John, his father remarked

"I...uhh...wasn't expecting her to tell you...We agreed Alice!" Danny scolded, as convincingly as he could

"I know..." Alice nodded, patting Danny's leg softly, "But now everything's out in the open...no more secrets...just like we said"

"Hmmm" Danny agreed, slightly taken back by Alice's delicate tone. She was normally so...aggressive!

"Well then...stop complaining! Would anybody like a drink whilst I'm making one?" Alice asked, standing up. A resounding 'no' came from the room in the form of a low grunting noise. She turned around to face Danny, so that everyone else in the room could only see the back of her body. "How about you...dear?"

"No thanks...darling" Danny chuckled, as Alice spoke sweetly as she could

"Ok...sweetheart" She smiled, before sticking her tongue out at him and sloping off.

Dup raised his eyebrows at Danny, who had a grin plastered on his face. Danny suddenly realised and stood up suddenly

"Anyway...I've got LOADS of work to do, so I best go and..." He excused

"Sit down!" Judith ordered, "We've just found out that our son is engaged! Tell us EVERYTHING!"

"What do you want to know?" Danny laughed nervously, sitting back on the sofa reluctantly

"Why don't you tell the story of how you two got together, eh?" Dup suggested. Who was he kidding? Of course he wanted to make them as uncomfortable as possible! It was one of his favourite pastimes...

"Good idea Dup" Danny agreed, with a hint of sarcasm in his voice, aimed directly at his business partner "It all started when there was an outbreak of rabies here, and Alice was sent to..."

* * *

"...And the rest...as they say...is history!" Danny concluded, slouching down into the sofa as he finished

"But, son..." John frowned, "That's how you met! How you..er...you know..."

"Well...I...WE...uhh..." Danny babbled

"Now THAT is an interesting story" Alice interrupted, entering the room just at the right moment "And a very VERY long and complicated one at that...so I'm afraid it'll have to wait for another time as the food is ready...so if you all want to go in the kitchen...no wait...Danny...not you...stay here a sec"

Alice waited impatiently as everyone left quickly, leaving her and Danny alone.

"What is it?" He asked, "I'm hungry..."

"You idiot!" Alice hissed, batting his arm forcefully, "Why the hell did you let them talk you into that one? In case you haven't realised...WE HAVEN'T GOT A 'GETTING TOGETHER' STORY!"

"It's Dup's fault!" Danny argued, "He was the one who suggested I tell them that!"

"You've live with Anders Du Plessis for what...four years? And you STILL can't tell him where to shove his 'suggestions'!" Alice snapped

"Excuse me...but I was good and ready to tell them the truth, but YOU had to make up some ridiculous story about the two of us being engaged!" Danny protested

"It was your idea to convince them we were married!" Alice reminded him, "You're such an idiot!"

"Thankfully I'm an idiot that doesn't have to put up with you as a wife!" He shouted

"You dick head!" Alice screamed

"Well, that I may be..." Danny nodded, "But at least I'm not an incapable of loving anything, aggressive and heartless bitch that you are"

End Of Chapter One


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

He regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth. He regretted it even more when her hand collided with his face, as she slapped him with all of her strength. Her hand burned into his flesh as it stung him, his head being forced to turn with the power of her anger driving her hand right across his face. The initial shock made him stagger backwards, clutching the painful red patch of skin that was almost glowing. Alice was breathing quickly, as she recovered from the anger that was coursing through her veins, keeping her rooted to the spot.

They were both stood, not moving and talking, but looking each other directly in the eye. Alice was the first to break the stare, storming out of the room and into the hallway. She took a few deep breaths before entering the kitchen, where everyone else had just began their meals. She dropped down onto one of the empty chairs, and even though she had now lost her appetite, began stabbing at her food aggressively.

"What have the carrots ever done to you?" Dup asked, looking up at her

"Shut up" Alice replied, giving him a dark and thunderous glare in return, causing the whole room to turn icy cold and silent. Danny came into the kitchen just at that precise awkward moment

"What's the matter with your face, man?" Dup wondered

"Nothing" Danny mumbled, hiding the mark with his hand whilst looking for a spare chair. He wanted to scream in frustration as he realised the only seat left was next to Alice...

"Sit down and eat" Nomsa ordered, setting a plate in the empty space

Danny did so reluctantly, brushing past Alice awkwardly. Her loud, irritated sigh caused everyone to raise their eyebrows at one another.

"Where's Charlie and Evan?" Alice asked

"Down at the vet hut" Danny snapped

"I'll go get them" Dup excused, desperate to leave. They really couldn't get along for five minutes...

* * *

"Wait a sec..." Evan said, stopping Dup, "Danny and Alice are pretended to be ENGAGED?"

"Yes" Dup nodded, "Which means you two have to pretend they are"

"But why, Dup? Charlotte asked, "Why doesn't Danny just tell the lady he doesn't like her?"

"Because he's stubborn" Dup shrugged

"...AND he doesn't want to hurt her feelings" Evan added

"Oh" Charlotte said, simply "So why's my mum so bothered?"

"...She...uh...just wants to help Danny" Dup explained, as he and Evan exchanged a knowing glance

"Fair enough" Charlotte shrugged, "Mum doesn't like that lady, anyway"

"Doesn't she?" Evan questioned, trying to hold in his laughter, "Why?"

"Well..." Charlotte sighed, "She told me she looked like a horse. I thought she was pretty...but mum...doesn't"

"...Right..." Dup chuckled, "Let's go back to the house. Dinner's ready"

* * *

Danny and Alice were not in a talkative mood, which was why as soon as Danny had thrown the food down his neck, he was desperate to be excused. Alice on the other hand, had hardly took a mouth full.

"Not so fast!" Judith warned, as Danny practically launched his plate into the washing up bowl, and prepared to leave, "Alice hasn't finished"

Danny sighed loudly, slouching back into his chair as Alice continued to prod her food into a mushy pulp.

"MMUUMM!" Charlotte whined, running into the kitchen, completely covered in sand dust from outside, "I FELL OOOVVEEERRRR!"

"You alright?" Alice asked, turning her attention away from her destroyed meal to her daughter, who was now standing between her and Danny. Alice seemed to quickly snap out of any mood when it came to Charlotte...

"Yeah" Charlotte nodded, "But now I'm all dirty!"

"Come! Let me clean you up!" Nomsa said, fussing round the young girl, grabbing her am and pulling her towards the bathroom

"You never said you had another child, Daniel!" Judith exclaimed, "If we'd have known..."

"She is NOT Danny's!" Alice explained, rather rudely, "Not in a long shot"

Evan suddenly realised why Dup was so quick to get out of this family meal.

"Well...who's is she?" Judith asked

"Mine" Alice said, aggressively

"No dear..." Judith shuck her head, "...I mean, who's her father"

"No offence...DEAR" Alice snapped, "But its no one else's business apart from mine"

Alice stood up, and marched out of the kitchen, and threw herself onto the sofa

"_I'm sorry about that" Danny apologised. Alice began listening closely "We had a bit of an argument"_

"You can say that again" Alice snorted

"_Is she always like that?" John questioned,_

"_...Pretty much, yeah" Danny nodded, "Always. But that's just...Alice. That's who she is"_

"_I feel sorry for any poor bugger that pisses HER off" Dup added, "She isn't one for keeping her opinions to herself"_

"_At least she's up front" Danny shrugged, "It's not like she goes behind people's backs. She's honest"_

"_A little too upfront" Judith commented, "...If you don't mind me saying"_

"_Knock yourself out" Danny said, not even slightly bothered, "I'm not her mother"_

"_You're her fiancé, though!" John laughed_

"_Hmm" Danny agreed, unconvincingly _

"_I wouldn't try talking to her when she's grumpy" Dup advised_

"_Says the grumpiest man in Africa!" Evan laughed, "I don't know why you just don't follow Alice's example, and tell everyone the truth...your opinions...life would be so much easier. I don't know why you're all acting like she's some reincarnation of Satan. I LIKE Alice"_

"_She would be very pleased to know that" Dup smiled approvingly at the boy_

"_AND..." Evan added, "She's right. It is none of our business about what's happened in her past. All we know is that both Alice and Charlotte are part of Leopard's Den now. Why isn't that enough? The only reason why she and Danny argue so much is because they're both so similar...the only difference is that Alice is more open with everyone, and isn't afraid to speak her mind. Is that not a good quality in someone? If something's crap, why can't we say it is? If you don't like someone, then you should be free to tell them"_

"_When did you get so wise?" Danny chuckled, half jokingly, half nervously. He knew Evan was right. He was spot on. He was just too stubborn to admit it._

"_Since you and Alice became idiots" Evan shrugged_

End Of Chapter Two


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

Alice hopped nervously from one foot onto the other. She was standing outside Danny's bedroom door, with her quilt and pillows balanced in one arm, as she knocked on the door with her other hand. Since hearing him and Evan sticking up for her in front of everyone had made her think. Maybe he wasn't so bad. After all, whatever he had called her, she had probably deserved it. She had called him far worse in the past. Plus, she'd given him a slap, so technically it should be him that was angry with her...not the other way around. The two had exchanged an apologetic smile whilst passing each other in the corridor a few moments earlier. If was only after receiving an odd look for Danny's parents that she released where she was supposed to be, and had to make it look like she was saying goodnight to Charlie, before collecting her things in a hurry. Which was why she was now stood where she was.

"What?" He asked, opening the door a little

"We're supposed to be engaged, stupid head" Alice reminded, "As if we'd be in separate rooms"

"Right. Yeah. Come in" He nodded, as he let Alice into his room and closed the door quickly behind her.

She threw her stuff down on the floor; as Danny got back into bed, but flicked his lamp on to give her a bit of light. He sat upright, watching her as she sat on the wooden floor, fluffing her pillows and lifting the quilt over her body.

"Night" She said, simply, as they sat in the silence of the room

"Night" Danny replied, switching off the light and plunging them into the darkness of an African night, with only the full moon streaming in through the thin curtains. Alice shuffled about on the floor, knocking her elbows a few times on the floor.

"Ouch" She hissed, rubbing her elbow, and scowling at the floor, as if it would apologise any moment. She settled back down, staring at the ceiling.

"...Alice..." Danny sighed, sitting up after they had entered silence once more, "...You can't sleep on the floor"

"I'll be fine" She reassured him, also sitting up, looking at him through the dark

"No, what I mean is..." Danny explained, "_I can't let you_ sleep on the floor"

"I'm fine. Seriously" She told him

"...Alice..." he repeated, in the same tone as before, "I'm trying to be a gentleman here. Stop trying to be nice. Get in"

He threw the cover open and watched as she nervously kicked her quilt off her, and into the corner of the room. She slid awkwardly into the bed, and flipped the cover back, but this time it was now covering both of their bodies. They were both sat in complete silence, staring at the walls

"Thanks" She smiled, turning her head in his direction

"Look, Alice..." Danny began, looking her in the eyes, "Let's put this whole...DEBARCLE...behind us. I'm sorry for what I said, and I'm guessing you are, too, so let's just forget about it and go to sleep, ok? My parents are leaving in a few days, so we just have to pretend a little bit longer and then we can go back to how we used to be. I really appreciate what you're doing for me, even after our little argument, and I am so, so, SO sorry if I offended you. In arguments we say stupid things, and we regret it instantly. I know I certainly did"

Alice didn't reply, but instead grinned at him. She leant over his body, to flick the light back on, which as soon as she did it, she realised it was a mistake. Especially as she got stuck. Danny took her arm, and helped her back up, much to her embarrassment.

"Thanks" She laughed, going bright red, "...Oh god!"

"What is it?" Danny panicked

"Your face!" Alice gasped, "Did I really smack you that hard? It's gone all purple"

"Well, I can't really remember...I think I've got concussion..." Danny joked, "...And amnesia"

"Haha, very funny!" Alice giggled, rolling her eyes

"What are you laughing at?"He mock-scowled

"You!" She smiled, "Poor wee Danny's got amnesia"

"Has he?" Danny frowned, "Wait...who's Danny?"

"Don't quit your day job, Mr Trevanion" Alice laughed, nudging him softly, "I really am sorry"

"It's fine..." Danny shrugged, "I deserved it"

"How can you do that?" Alice asked, astounded, "How can you take all the crap I give you...all the insults and all the anger and make it seem like you're the bad one? I screamed loads of swear words at you, smacked you across the face, and you make it sound like I was defending myself"

"Because sometimes, Alice..." Danny explained, "You have to know when to hold your hands up and admit what an arse you've been. And not just today. Just in general."

"You amaze me, Daniel Trevanion" She smiled, "You really do amaze me"

"Like-wise, Miss Collins" He grinned back, "Like-wise"

* * *

When then sun rose over Leopard's Den, both Danny and Alice found themselves intertwined with one another, their arms holding each over close, and their legs tangled up underneath the quilt.

"Danny" Alice hissed, "DANNY! WAKE UP!"

"Wa...what?" He jumped, "What's going on"

"Um...how would you like me to answer this?" Alice asked, as Danny kept his eyes screwed shut

"The nice way" Danny decided

"In that case...just open your eyes..." Alice laughed nervously

Danny did as commanded, and as soon as he saw their predicament, he sprang out of bed and almost flew to the bathroom in embarrassment, while Alice wrapped herself up in the sheets.

* * *

"Listen, son" John said to Danny , as the whole family were gathered out on the porch, surrounding Judith, John, Layla and their luggage as they said their goodbyes "Me and your mother can see you don't need us around here. We're heading home"

"You don't have to!" Alice protested, "I apologise for being so rude. I hope that hasn't made you want to leave"

"No, no...of course not" John shuck his head, before turning back to Danny, "We can see you have a family who cares about you...and a very lovely girlfriend"

"Thanks" Alice smiled, realising they meant her, "I don't really deserve your kind words...but thanks"

"You two may have fallen out while we've been here" John continued, "...But anybody can see that you two were made for each other..."

"They can?" Danny and Alice said in unison, exchanging puzzled looks

"Of course" John chuckled, "A real relationship is more than just love. It's honesty. It's rust...and most importantly...it's forgiveness"

"Right" Danny nodded, as Dup was almost crying with laughter behind him, "I...uh...WE'll remember that one, Dad. Thanks"

"No problem, son. Jut marry the girl before she changed her mind" John advised, as the taxi pulled up, and the driver began loading their luggage into the vehicle, "You don't get an intelligent, beautiful woman every day. Me and you...we're the lucky ones"

Danny pulled Alice towards him, wrapping his arm around her waist, completely forgetting they were just pretending. With his free arm, he joined the rest of the family in waving them off, with his Dad winking at him as he left the premises. Danny took a deep breath and turned to Alice, planting a kiss delicately on her mouth. Suddenly, Dup wasn't laughing anymore

"Uhh...you do remember that we're not actually getting married, don't you?" Alice asked him, pulling away, "They've gone now. We can go back to how we were before"

"I know..." Danny grinned, "But what if I don't want to?"

"It's fine with me!" He laughed, placing her arms around his neck, and giving him a proper kiss that she had been craving from him for so long.

"We better get indoors" Dup interrupted, as a gust of wind blew across the found garden, as the pair shared a romantic moment, with all the residents of Leopard's Den knowing that this was a long time coming, "It looks like there's gonna be a storm..."

Fin


End file.
